Balanced
by StorySongs
Summary: Ryou ponders the similarities between himself and his yami. Character study oneshot.


The gentle spring rain pounds against the glass on a quiet Saturday morning. Ryou's apartment was quiet except for the almost inaudible_ shush_ of his cards as he shuffled through their deck, rethinking strategies and counters. Bakura is quiet in the back of his head. He had been out late last night; there is some new shiny thing in Ryou's undershirt drawer that he's steadfastly ignoring. Despite himself he giggles a little. Bakura stirs tiredly.

/What are you laughing at?/

"You should have been a magpie. They love shiny things." Bakura gives a halfhearted wordless snarl that may once have been a recognizable language, though he can almost make out some curses in the mumble. Ryou has to laugh and returns to his deck. He pauses as he comes across one of his favorite cards, a sudden thought running through his mind.

The Change of Heart card is a surprisingly good analogy for both himself and his Yami.

Not because of its abilities, neither he nor Bakura are very good at persuading enemies to become allies, but because of what its image depicts: light and dark in balance.

They're not like Yugi and Yami, a perfect separation. They bleed into each other, neither one purely dark or purely light.

Yes, most of the time Bakura is an evil, vicious bastard who steals anything that's not nailed down (as well as anything he can get loose with a crowbar) and often delights in blood, but that's not how he is _all_ the time.

His friends have never seen his yami when it's too cold for the desert-born spirit to stand the outdoors, and they sit together in quiet companionship as Ryou does his homework and sips hot chocolate. They haven't seen him laugh himself to tears watching _Jackass_ reruns. And, most of all… They haven't seen him with children.

Though he'd never admit it in a thousand years, Bakura loves kids. Not the older ones, not teenagers, but anyone under the age of seven or so? It brings out all of his protective instincts, and Ryou has never seen him willingly harm a child.

Well, not since he first manifested, at least… But Bakura hadn't really been himself then. Too long trapped in the ring, in total sensory deprivation, with no one to talk to but his own demons, had driven him insane. He's better now. Really.

He swallows softly and rubs the edge of the card with his thumb, following his train of thought down the rail.

If Bakura has a light side… then he has a dark side.

He knows he does. It's one of the things he and his therapist discuss, sometimes. (When she's not trying to force medications down his throat or get him to say that Bakura isn't real.) His anger isn't like Bakura's, a rage that destroys all in its path, or even Yugi's, where he glares at you through tears and makes you feel like a monster because he's really more upset than angry. His anger is just a cold… apathy.

When Ryou's angry, he can watch someone fall off a cliff without lending them a hand. He could never push them, not in his greatest fury, but if they fell on their own? _Well, then let them fall_, whispers the icy-cold voice that is the voice of his hate. _Let them all fall._

He does his best to quiet the frigid voice, to remind himself that he's supposed to be the caring one. Often he manages. But sometimes he doesn't fight back as hard against Bakura as he knows he should, gives in too easily because he's just _angry_ and wants to watch someone hurt as much as he does…

He knows that Yugi's little group of friends would believe he had a dark side (other than his yami) about as easily as they'd believe that Bakura had a fondness for cats. Of course, his anger would be a lot harder to prove; all he'd have to do to verify the other point is show them the skinny grey tabby queen that's been lurking around their apartment suspiciously for the last few weeks or so, and the bag of cat food that's mysteriously showed up in his cabinet…

But, back to the point… The two of them balance each other. Bakura helps Ryou channel his anger into something a little healthier (mostly through muttered insults and mental thwaps across the head when he bottles up his emotions) and Ryou encourages his yami to indulge his tender side (mostly through not bringing up the subject as a weapon. And maybe taping _Jackass _when it comes on.). So even though they're not cleanly divided, they're exactly as they should be.

/Oi, Landlord! You're going to ruin Change of Heart if you keep rubbing it like that!/ Ryou jumps at Bakura's yell, suddenly pulled out of his thoughts, but stops fiddling with the card. His yami is right, after all, and he doesn't want to ruin the card that describes them both.

He doesn't want to ruin the balance.

* * *

**Author's Notes**

No, I've never liked the interpretation of Bakura's character that has him abusing Ryou on a constant basis. However screwed up Bakura might be, Ryou is part of him; you can only hurt yourself for so long without dying, and Bakura is too focused on revenge to want to commit suicide first. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. They'll never have the same partnership as Yugi and Yami, but I can certainly see them coexisting at least a little bit.

Also, given Bakura's history? I truly can see him being protective of young children. Not overly affectionate, but... Have any of you ever had a family member who loves you with all their heart, but was brought up in such a way that they have no idea how to express it? The kind who pick on you a little bit, knuckle your head and poke you in the ribs because they don't know any other way to show affection? That's how I imagine he would be around kids. Not malicious, just awkward. (Yes, I have an uncle like that. His nickname for me was "Snot" until I turned... fourteen or so? I didn't understand him at all until I grew up a little.)

Also also, FF really needs a "character study" genre option. I have no idea where to put this.

Feel free to review and challenge my opinions or point out gaping logic jumps.


End file.
